Roundworld
by RenegadeLegacy
Summary: My first Discworld fic. Roundworld people read about Discworld, Discworld people read about Roundworld.
1. Alent

[a/n: Okay, the reason I wrote this was simple: I thought that if we like reading about the Discworld so much, maybe residents of the Disc would like reading about here. Alent, if you couldn't tell, is modeled after me. Tell me if you like it and I'll write more. Also tell me what you'd like to see happen to Alent.]

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ROUNDWORLD

Chapter 1: Alent

Imagine a turtle bigger than a planet. Imagine an elephant, larger than any elephant has in fact ever dreamed of being. While you're at it, imagine four of them. Imagine that these elephants, for reasons best known to themselves, are standing on the turtle. Now imagine that atop the backs of these elephants is something a bit like a pizza, except for the minor details like mountains and forests and seas and such.

Imagine all this, because I don't feel like drawing it.

***

The Quirm College for Young Ladies was where Alent was busily getting an Education. She detested it. Grades were based (she considered) on how much you could remember. Someone with the intelligence of a box of raisins but an iconographic memory could do better than, say, Alent, who was so bright she tended to blind herself but never remembered anything she didn't care about, such as people's names and faces, the locations of her classes, and just about anything involved with what passed for reality on the Discworld.

What she _did_ care about was her books.

Novels were not widespread on the Disc, since people generally considered there were better things to spend their money on than reading about things that never actually happened. And most people didn't approve of reading nearly as much as Alent did, her not stopping reading even while walking around (this was a problem in Sport) but somehow never walking into things. Besides, the books Alent read more or less constantly were absolutely ridiculous, being about a bunch of people who lived on a ball, even on the underside, and didn't fall off even though there wasn't any magic to hold them on. This was clearly ridiculous, and Alent was hard put to it to explain the point of the books; i.e., that there didn't need to be one.

It's a well-known fact that inspirations are caused by the tiny particles that sleet through the universe all the time. These particles can only take root if the mind they strike is the right sort. The person who invented the light bulb, for example, was deathly afraid of the dark.

Alent did not have the kind of mind that attracts inspirations. She had the kind of mind that reaches out and snatches inspirations whether they want to go or not. She could _make_ inspirations. She didn't need to wait for them to come, she could find them. She had been known to find an inspiration in what is commonly known as "writer's block," which is the _lack_ of inspiration.

Alent is going to do something New And Different.

You could tell, right?


	2. Mary Sue

[a/n: Okay, the reason I wrote this was simple: I thought that if we like reading about the Discworld so much, maybe residents of the Disc would like reading about here

[a/n: Nobody told me any ideas for what to do to Alent next. So I had to make it up. Ah well! The delays in getting out the chapter are due to: Less character development and more plot, also I think it's slightly longer, and I'm lazy.]

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ROUNDWORLD

Chapter 2: Mary Sue

Picture the office of your favorite teacher. Picture extra desk ornaments all over the place and cheesy posters on the walls. Imagine everything is strewn all over the desk and shelves.  
This will give you a one hundred percent inaccurate picture of the office of Miss Butts.  
The office was neat. The office was tidy. The office was orderly.  
The office was also a place Alent had seen _far_ too much of.  
"It wasn't a pencil, it was a pen," she pointed out.  
Miss Butts sighed. "Alent, gels don't _normally_ stab other people in the leg with pens. And certainly not hard enough to draw blood."  
"It was _not_!" Alent protested.  
"Alent, there was a red mark on her uniform."  
"The pen had red ink in it," Alent pointed out.  
Miss Butts rather felt that she was losing the initiative here. "That's beside the point. The point-."  
"Look, if you go around daring people to, sooner or later someone _will_."  
Miss Butts sighed. You always lost whenever you got into an argument with Alent. The gel had got a deft hand with logic, no doubt about that. She was always top of the class in Logic, which had surprised the teachers given her astonishingly low grades in everything else. Miss Traitor had in fact complained that Alent couldn't be taught, owing to the fact that she knew it all already, if not the proper name for it then the fact that it was doable. And she was Disruptive In Class, meaning that she was so vocally good at it she put the other students off. She had once proven logically that she was a cat and, for an encore, had gone on to prove that the ground was up and that the dark blue woolly uniform of the College was in fact red.  
Still, even if she wasn't going to win the argument…  
"I don't think she just randomly dared you, Alent. She says you threatened her with it first," Miss Butts pressed on.  
"Okay, I'd had a bad time of it in Sport, she was getting on the sparse, frayed remains of my nerves, I held it up and said something on the lines of 'It has not been a good day for me, would you really like to feel as bad as I do?' and then she said 'Go on, hit me with it' and I did. Can I go now?"  
Miss Butts sighed. "I suppose so. And try not to do it again."

***

Alent had been having a bad day in Sport for a very specific reason. In the middle of Sport she'd had a _really good _idea, and had no opportunity to actually do it, and wasn't concentrating, and was mildly concussed by a rogue ball.  
Of course, _now_ she had time…  
They didn't like Roundworld, even though they'd never _read_ Roundworld.  
_What if_ they could be made to read it, or at least something very like it? It should be noted that she was not exactly trying to get them to like it, but merely interested in seeing whether they'd like it if they read it.  
She wasn't really good on normal thinking, but she had the feeling they'd want a character a bit like them, or at least like they liked to think they were.  
A character like that in a place like Roundworld…  
She ought to name the character. She liked really strange names, like Acacia or Adri. Somehow she got the impression those weren't the right names.  
Mary. That was a nice, normal name. And a last name…  
Well, a lot of the gels didn't really have proper last names, but more like two first ones…  
Alent considered this for a moment. "Sue," she said aloud, and it seemed exactly right. "Sue. Mary Sue." 

***

[a/n: Admit it, everyone throws up a Mary Sue at some point, even if no one else sees it. At least on the first attempt. Anyway: Review!]


End file.
